- Before:
- In my life, I never used many of the popular social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc., because I was told from an early age that social media like those were bad, and I shouldn’t use them until I got older. But what I did find and still use on a daily basis is Reddit. In many ways, Reddit is more dangerous than a less anonymous social media website, because there is little to no accountability for one’s speech or conduct. Because of the built-in anonymous nature of the platform, people are able to explore their hobbies and interests without judgement from their peers, but they are also able to create hostile and unwelcome places which foster discrimination of all kinds. And that doesn’t even come close to the level of reprehensibility of some of the socially unacceptable things that people are able to post with next to zero regard for their real-life image. And to make matters worse, oftentimes the validity of anything you say is heavily dependent on how much “karma” you have, which is the like/dislike feature that Reddit uses. This leads to people stealing other people’s content and reposting it as “karma farming”, or bot accounts specifically programmed to repost anything that gained even a bit of popularity in order to build up their karma, so the account can be sold off to someone who doesn’t want to put in the effort of actually posting quality content. I have to say that, having used this site for a considerable amount of time, it’s probably not the best for my social life. I’ve noticed that, while I can write out an entire essay explaining exactly why someone else’s opinion is wrong, I struggle to advocate for myself in real life when it actually matters. Because I’m so accustomed to writing on a platform where my identity is anonymous, having to say something difficult in real life becomes twice as hard, because I know it will actually affect me. In regard to the other people who use the platform, I’d imagine they have a similar experience. Anyone who frequently uses Reddit is liable to lose their real life social skills, to the point that it’s become an active meme that Redditors are the kind of people who live out of their parents’ basement. It’s a shame because Reddit can also be a great tool for finding communities where you can fit in, but it’s almost impossible not to be sucked into the black hole of negativity at the center of the whole platform.
- After:
- I was scared into avoiding many of the popular social media apps like Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, Snapchat, etc., because my parents would tell me that those sites caused people to become depressed and hate themselves. Instead, I opted to expose myself to Reddit, a cesspool of chronically online users posting completely anonymous harassment, discrimination, and not-safe-for-work content. While this does only describe a portion of the site’s users, it still makes it, in many ways, a far more dangerous social media platform than those with less anonymity. Because of the built-in anonymous nature of the platform, people are able to explore their hobbies and interests without judgement, but they are also able to create hostile and unwelcome places which foster discrimination of all kinds. Even in Subreddits dedicated to a common love for an activity, game, sport, or hobby, intended to be used to bring people together, there is frequently rampant gatekeeping by the more hardcore members who can’t stand the idea that new members with less experience are allowed to participate in their community. And even though people can’t be judged by their real life popularity, it is simply replaced by Reddit’s karma system. Oftentimes, the validity of anything you say is heavily dependent on how much “karma” you have, which is the sum of all of your upvotes and downvotes for every comment and post that you make. This system not only leads to people stealing other people’s content and reposting it as “karma farming”, or bots used to automatically repost popular content, but also fosters a group shame mentality. If two or more people downvote a comment, chances are that within the hour, that comment will have over 50 downvotes, regardless of whether those other people actually disagreed. But this all pales in comparison to the level of reprehensibility of the socially unacceptable things that people are able to post with next to zero regard for their real-life image. At least once, I’ve accidentally stumbled across actual, graphic pornography while just scrolling through my feed, and, though I haven’t personally seen this content, there are entire Subreddits dedicated to posting videos of sickening gore and violence. I have to say that, having used this site for a considerable amount of time, It has definitely taken a toll on both my social life and mental health. I’ve noticed that, while I can write out an entire essay explaining exactly why someone else’s opinion is wrong, I struggle to advocate for myself in real life when it actually matters. Because I’m so accustomed to writing on a platform where my identity is anonymous, having to say something difficult in real life becomes twice as hard, because I know it will actually affect me. In regard to the other people who use the platform, I’d imagine they have a similar experience. Anyone who frequently uses Reddit is liable to lose their real life social skills, to the point that it’s become an active meme that Redditors are the kind of people who live out of their parents’ basement. It’s a shame because Reddit can also be a great tool for finding communities where you can fit in, but it’s almost impossible not to be sucked into the black hole of negativity at the center of the whole platform.
When I revised this paragraph, I tried to focus on including specific examples, rather than just presenting an observation and not following it up with any tangible evidence of that observation. I also tried to include more bold writing to catch the reader off guard and intrigue them. Specifically, telling why my parents told me to avoid social media, only to undermine their reasoning with an even more outrageous description of the platform I used instead of the popular social media sites. Then I included more specifics about some of the harmful ways that Redditors engage with one another than I had originally included, to make the paragraph more personal to my experience. I also tried to remove unnecessary filler words where I saw them, and tried to use specific word choices over general ones, which can be boring to read. Though my adjustments definitely made my paragraph longer, I feel that it’s okay because in a real essay I would likely split this paragraph into multiple body paragraphs talking about each of the topics individually, allowing me to be more specific with each, rather than having to shorten it and lose much of that clarity.
